Thriving Families

The Search Institute recently compiled a list of Family Assets based on research from The American Family Assets Study. The Family Assets demonstrate “ways adults and young people pull together to support and bring out the best in one another.” When more assets are part of the fabric of family life, the more likely it is that parents and kids:

• “have higher satisfaction with their families and with their lives”
• “take better care of their health”
• “contribute more to their communities”

The average family experiences less than half of these assets. How does your family compare? This would be a wonderful dinnertime conversation. Here’s the list:

FAMILY ASSETS


Nurturing Relationships

• Positive communication—Family members listen attentively and speak in respectful ways.
• Affection—Family members regularly show warmth to each other.
• Emotional openness—Family members can be themselves and are comfortable sharing their feelings.
• Support for sparks—Family members encourage each other in pursuing their talents and interests.

Establishing Routines

• Family meals—Family members eat meals together most days in a typical week.
• Shared activities—Family members regularly spend time doing everyday activities together.
• Meaningful traditions—Holidays, rituals, and celebrations are part of family life.
• Dependability—Family members know what to expect from one another day-to-day.

Maintaining Expectations

• Openness about tough topics—Family members openly discuss sensitive issues, such as sex and substance use.
• Fair rules—Family rules and consequences are reasonable.
• Defined boundaries—The family sets limits on what young people can do and how they spend their time.
• Clear expectations—The family openly articulates its expectations for young people.
• Contributions to family—Family members help meet each other’s needs and share in getting things done.

Adapting to Challenges

• Management of daily commitments—Family members effectively navigate competing activities and expectations at home, school, and work.
• Adaptability—The family adapts well when faced with changes.
• Problem solving—Family members work together to solve problems and deal with challenges.
• Democratic decision making—Family members have a say in decisions that affect the family.

Connecting to Community

• Neighborhood cohesion—Neighbors look out for one another.
• Relationships with others—Family members feel close to teachers, coaches, and others in the community.
• Enriching activities—Family members participate in programs and activities that deepen their lives.
• Supportive resources—Family members have people and places in the community they can turn to for help.

Search Institute’s Parent Further website has very helpful insights for parents seeking to foster these qualities in their family. It is well worth a visit.

Ian Eastman, M.A. promotes the spiritual, social, and emotional development of young people and their families. He is the Conference Youth Coordinator for the Southwestern New York Conference of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, the Coordinator of the Shared Lutheran Youth Ministry in Jamestown NY, and a Youth Minister in the Pastoral Care Department at Gustavus Adolphus Family Services. He is a graduate of SUNY Empire State College (B.S. Cultural Studies), Northwest Nazarene University (M.A. Spiritual Formation), and is currently a student at the Institute for Youth Ministry at Princeton Theological Seminary. A published writer, his work has appeared in Good News, The Ooze, Parental Guidance Magazine, The Times Observer, The Wittenburg Door and YS Magazine.