Life support

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
-- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV)

"Who is your support system?" was the question put to us late in the week during continuing education at Princeton Theological Seminary. The nature of ministry (as in any helping profession) can be isolating some times. It is common to get so focused on helping others that we neglect to help ourselves sometimes. Appropriate work/life balance, regular rest and recreation, and nurturing relationships all make a big difference. We know that in a time of great crisis and tragedy one of the greatest predictors of recovery is the number of good quality relationships one has. Friends help us bounce back.

It was an interesting exercise, because really, I don't think I've ever made a list of friends and family. Why would I? Relationships just happen, right? I guess the point of the assignment was to think out how intentionally I carved out time and space in my life for people that matter. Not being a social butterfly, I was happy to note that I have a diverse group of supportive friends. I had spent time recently with many on the list. Others, I was sad to realize, I haven't kept in touch with as diligently as I should.

One of my classmates mused aloud, "Who are the people who will be at my funeral?" The words turned out to be somewhat prophetic as I returned home shortly after my brother's death. In my case, many dear friends were there at my brother's funeral to help and show support.

So who is your support group? Who are you supporting? It's worth thinking about. You don't need to be an EMT to offer "life support."

On sharing the gospel

Jim Kast-Keat has such an important reminder for those who minister to youth:

"While I might remember the things I teach...my students will remember the person who taught it. They will remember me long after they remember the words I said. The gospel can never be contained by the words I say but by the trust-centered faith I show my students."

There is much more worth reading and pondering in his article at Immerse Journal. Read it here.

Two great events for youth happening this week!

I don't need to tell you that youth ministry can take a lot of time and effort. So I'd like to remind you about 2 events coming up this week that can save you both. Best of all, these events are happening right here in the Southwestern Conference.

#1. The Youth Group at St. Timothy's Lutheran Church has a Lock-In coming up this Friday, Nov. 11. Details here.

#2. Bethel Lutheran Church (Jamestown) is hosting Captive Free, a contemporary Christian band, this Saturday, Nov. 12. Details here.

It's not too late to involve your youth... These are both ready-made events for churches to collaborate on. It's this kind of cooperation that will benefit youth from throughout the Southwest Conference! And make the lives of caring adults easier by saving us time and effort!

P.S. Remember LCLC's Advent Retreat is coming up next month. Details here.

Middle School on This American Life

It's Saturday morning and I'm easing into my weekend by catching up on podcasts as I cook breakfast. PRI's This American Life offers a fascinating look into the middle school experience. Insightful and worth a listen, but hurry, because I don't think the online link will be up for long.

SLYM Food Drive for Joint Neighborhood Project

The 2nd annual Shared Lutheran Youth Ministry Food Drive for Joint Neighborhood Project is going on through Nov. 9. You can make a donation in the collection boxes this Sunday at Bethel Lutheran Church, First Lutheran Church, Holy Trinity Lutheran Church, and Immanuel Lutheran Church. On Thursday evening, Nov. 10, the youth group will gather at JNP to fill the pantry with the all food we've collected! Helping the community can be a lot of fun, as the video below demonstrates!

November Youth News from around the conference

The vision of Southwest Conference Youth Ministries is that "every ELCA congregation in the Southwest Conference will collaborate together to benefit our youth, sharing knowledge and resources, using best practices." 

Get involved: The Southwest Conference Youth Ministries Planning Team is forming. It is for young people in grades 9 – 12 and caring adults, too. We're getting together at First Lutheran in Jamestown on Saturday, November 19 at 9am to get acquainted and get input into what kind of events we'll put on over the next few months. Come check it out and decide if you want to share your gifts as part of the team!

Get resources: Have you heard about the Practice Discipleship project? It's an online series of trainings being put on by the ELCA Youth Ministry Network and the ELCA Youth Gathering. The webinars are intended to "equip adults to do excellent ministry with young people." Authentically Lutheran and eminently practical, these twice-monthly trainings are of interest to youth workers, Sunday School teachers, and chaperones to next summer's Youth Gathering. And did we mention they're FREE? Sign up at: http://www.elcaymnet.org/ELCATrainingOverview

Get inspired: Our new conference youth website is live! Always know about the many exciting events happening around the conference, like the upcoming Captive Free concert at Bethel (Jamestown), lock-in at St. Timothy's, and the new Advent Retreat at LCLC. Browse a large selection of theologically sound and research based topics, too. Check it out at: http://younglutherans.blogspot.com/

Contact: Ian Eastman, Southwest Conference Youth Ministries Coordinator

Phone: 720-8584, Email: ifeastman@yahoo.com

Look what's happening during November at SLYM

The Shared Lutheran Youth Ministry is a youth group for grades 5 - 12 that meets in the Jamestown, NY area. It is a cooperative effort of Bethel Lutheran Church, First Lutheran Church, Holy Trinity Lutheran Church, Immanuel Lutheran Church, and GA Family Services. If you know of a young person who would benefit from its mixture of faith formation, recreation, and service learning, please send them along!

Here is a link to the November 2011 schedule for SLYM:

Open publication - Free publishing - More lutheran

Lock-in at St. Tim's!

The Youth Group at St. Timothy's Lutheran Church has a Lock-In coming up--and they are inviting other churches around the Southwestern Conference to take part!

Youth Lock-in
St. Timothy's Lutheran Church
3748  Route 430, Bemus Point, NY   14712
Begins: Friday, Nov. 11 at 7pm
Ends: Saturday, Nov. 12 at 8am

Ann McKillip, youth director, says: "The event is for 7th grade and up. The evening will include a variety of things like worship and music, games, movies & Bible studies. Bring pillows and sleeping bags, too.  St. Tim's is providing pizza on Friday night and breakfast the next morning."

Ann asks that any youth groups attending bring an adult to help supervise and some snacks and drinks to share. Please let her know by November 9 if your youth group is planning on coming and how many youth to plan for.  You can email Ann here or call her at 716-664-5529.

This Lock-In, along with the Captive Free concert at Bethel, are both ready-made events for churches to collaborate. It's this kind of cooperation that will benefit youth from throughout the Southwest Conference!

Hot, cool & just right

We knew something was up when Eli, my five-year old nephew, wanted his hair combed by Nigel, my fourteen-year old son. Grooming and appearance had never been a priority for Eli before, outside of Halloween, but there he was holding out a comb in the midst of getting ready for day camp.  "Make sure you comb mine just like you comb your hair," said Eli. "I want it to look good for the ladies." This caused a lot of laughter before he was off to Chapman Dam.

Great-grandma was waiting for him when he got back. Over an afternoon snack, she asked him how he enjoyed camp. Eli said, "I had fun in the sand and in the water. Oh, and I asked a girl to marry me." When asked why he wanted to get married, he got a broad grin and answered, "I like everything about her—even her brother!" Great-grandma asked him how the girl responded to his proposal. Eli was disappointed that she didn't reply to him. So, he said, "I told her she was hot." (He heard it on a TV show and thought it sounded good.)

When Great-grandma regained her composure, she patiently explained to him that maybe a better place to start would be to tell her that he thought she was nice or fun. Telling a person they are "hot" or commenting on their appearance can put them on the spot and embarrass them. Maybe he should just say tomorrow that he wanted to be friends. I haven't received a wedding invitation from Eli, so I assume that he took his grandma's advice.

A few days later we noticed something different was up with Eli. A generally affectionate kid, we were used to being greeted with a friendly hug when we saw him. The girls in the family would even get a peck on the cheek. But he started sidestepping people and announcing, "I don't do hugs anymore." Turns out that he heard that from a "cool older kid" and he wanted to be "cool like him." Great-grandma brought some wise advice once again during snack time. She explained to him that cool people are comfortable being themselves, not trying to be someone else—so a cool person would never be embarrassed showing affection to the people he loved. So Eli decided he was cool right then and there and the hugs resumed.

A really satisfying part of my work at my day job--Family Services of Warren County--is working with men who batter and otherwise abuse their partners. Many of the men are resistant to the group at the beginning, but talking about a better way to have relationships gradually transforms their thinking. I can't tell you how many times over the last five years that men have told me, "I wish I would have learned this stuff in school." I suggest that learning about relationships can start even earlier than that, and in fact already does: right in our homes. Kids learn the good, the bad, and the ugly about how people treat each other by watching us adults!

There's also some important un-learning that can go on in the home, too, as demonstrated by Eli and his Great-grandma. Messages and values portrayed on TV and in pop culture can be engaged critically, like when grandma and Eli had a conversation about the "she was hot" comment. This same kind of conversation can happen about role models and peers, too. Come to think about it, Eli has a pretty good role model in his Great-grandma. She has a 70-year head start in relating to people and won't steer him wrong!

Get your Bon-Ton Coupon Book Now

This in from Tara Eastman, Youth & Family Director at First Lutheran:

In July 2012, twelve youth and five adults will be traveling to the Youth Gathering in New Orleans. Fundraisers will be our main resource in achieving the goal of making this trip.

Until November 10th, First Lutheran and Holy Trinity will be selling coupon books for Bon-Ton "Community Days" for $5.00 each. These coupon books are worth up to $200.00 at Bon-Ton during their holiday kick-off sale on November 11th and 12th. The $5.00 donation will fully go to our cause to raise funds for this upcoming summer mission trip. We currently need help selling coupon books in the store on Nov. 4th from 6-8pm, and Nov. 5th 10am-noon. If you would like to help volunteer on these days or assist in selling booklets, please call 664-4601 or 969-3950.

Thank you for your support of this life-changing ministry and mission experience for our youth!